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Saturday, January 2, 2016

Planning my Grief

So, most of you don’t know that I actually planned my grief and mourning to occur from November 11, 2015 to February 14, 2016...because that's what OCD counselors do, right? 

It made perfect sense as it included all of the significant and difficult memories including Craig’s rapid decline last Fall/Winter, his 60th birthday, Thanksgiving, all of the traditional Christmas celebrations, New Years Eve, the 1st anniversary of Craig’s death (1/22) and Valentines Day. I was going to hibernate in my ma'am cave each evening, travel, write my next book and somehow, some way recover during this time. 

Well, I had the joy and opportunity to dine with several uplifting, encouraging and inspirational women over this break to whom I shared my great plan: 
Operation Meltdown: Kasey's Great Grief Plan!

At the time I was not executing the plan very well and it was quite obvious as several friends (and family) strongly suggested I seek counseling:)  But, January 1st came and I was overwhelmed with strength, empowerment and determination to heal, reconstruct and accept all of my life as it is now.  

If by February 15th, I am not in a good place, I will succumb to therapy (blah blah blah), but for now, I do believe I can successfully recover alone and with a little help (time, tears, laughter, wine...) from my friends and family.

I will heal. I believe. 

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Linda said...

Hello. what exactly are you planning to do during this time period? :-)

Kasey Kellem said...

Linda, for starters, I am going to allow myself to cry whenever the urge comes upon me, rather than stifle it as I have done this past year. If I am angry, I am going to express my anger. If I am feeling hurt, I will also express this. Both feelings I have suppressed all of this time. I am also going to continue to surround myself with people who are comforting, inspiring, loving and understanding. I am going to write about this throughout my journey which will eventually become a part of my 2nd adult book, "Don't Stop Dancing; My JOurney as a widow." Finally, I am going to pamper myself with a few spa days, girls weekends and a vacation simply because those things feel good and after crying, yelling and releasing some pain, I am going to need and want to feel good:)