Dream about your best friend

I am grateful to have had many friends in my life, but only two real best friends. The first was my late mother whose 72nd  birthday would have been celebrated this week. She was a very warm and caring person with a big heart. She listened with interest and offered advice only when asked. She was there for me during my turbulent teen age years and supported me despite many poor choices. She was my pillar of strength and the reason I am so resilient today. Her motto was "If this is the worst thing that ever happened to you, boy aren't you lucky!" Nothing could ever get us down. Nothing could break us!

I longed for such a friend in a husband. I longed for a husband who would be my best friend. I dreamt about having a man with the same compassion and love for me that my mother had. I  longed for a man who shared an interest in what I had to say. I dreamt about a man who loved me unconditionally....and thought I was as funny as I thought I was. (what? I really am funny!)

Well, my dreams came true just a month after my mother passed away! Craig was introduced to me by mutual friends. Upon picking me up on our first date (in a limo, none-the-less), he stated, "This is the 2 year anniversary of my mother's death." I responded, "Well, this is the one month anniversary of my mother's passing!" I just knew our mothers in Heaven had schemed getting us together and they were quite successful!

I am so grateful to have my dream of marrying my best friend come true! I am so grateful to have a husband who is my best friend, my confidante, my lover and my companion! Truly, this is a gift as many married people do not have this in their spouse. I am grateful. I do believe that dreams come true. Craig is living proof!

Superheroes

I can't say that I ever had a favorite superhero as a child, but I certainly do as an adult: My hero is my best friend, my husband, Craig. You see, for one year, Craig has battled that epidemic of a disease, cancer, like so many others both young and old. His diagnosis came as a complete surprise as he was pretty health conscious and well-read on carcinogens. Heck, he wouldn't even use regular deodorant because it had zinc, a cancer-causing ingredient.  And forget diet and low-fat products, because of their deadly aspartame. He knew all the foods and products that caused cancer.

But, what he didn't know was LIFE causes cancer.  Cancer has no prejudices or concerns over one's eating style, let alone their lifestyle, income, race, religion or ethics. When cancer comes knocking on your door, it is there to stay for a while, or maybe longer, and you better just embrace it.

And, that is just what my great hero did! From the beginning of his illness his eternal optimism inspired many. He had lived for years with the mantra, "Believe," but this was the real test. Does he really believe? Even with this harsh prognosis? Yep, he still believed! When the doctor showed him his bone scan laden with cancer, he heard the mention of arthritis in one area and decided that was all he had...all over his body..including his cranium? Arthritis? Oh, my eternal optimist was at it again.

He believed he would get through this ordeal. He believed he would be cured. He believed God still had more for him to do here on Earth. So, he continued to plow forward with a positive, faithful approach. An outpour of love, support and prayers came from friends and strangers from everywhere. He believed.

He believed even when  the doctors from the two largest and very well-known cancer hospitals here in Cleveland said they couldn't do much for him, but basically keep him comfortable. He believed despite chemo not even being an option because it was too far advanced. He believed despite them  giving him a few radiations solely to keep him from becoming paralyzed by the cancer that had broken his spine in several areas. He just kept on believing.

He prayed.
He met with his  dear friend, our pastor, many times.
He believed
He remained positive.
He stayed optimistic.

And then a program from Panama kinda just fell in his hands. Thank you, God. The doctors there assessed his test results, diagnosis and prognosis and gave him a 97% of FULL RECOVERY. Not remission. Recovery.

He believed.
He began the treatment in April, five months after his diagnosis.
He had to change his lifestyle and diet to accommodate the medication. It was a BIG life change.
He believed.
He got stronger.
He got healthier.
He looked better and better.
He continued to believe.

Today marks one year from that cold, dark night that he was sent to the hospital immediately after an MRI showed his doctor something very serious. It has been one year since he was bed-ridden and unable to walk or sit without great support and help. He believed.

He recently had his 9th treatment from Panama.  He believes.
No complaints ever. No doubts.
My hero has emulated and lived the mantra, "Believe!" He has been a role model to so many throughout his journey. He has inspired the healthy and the sick....because, he believes.

It took me 40+ years to ever have a hero in my life. It was well worth the wait. "Cancerman" Believes.

Daydream

Daydreaming is a great way to escape the day. It helps remove us from any present unfriendly circumstance or boredom. Daydreaming allows us to be in control when things in our real world may be out of control. Daydreaming brings to mind the ideal life, lifestyle, relationships and interactions we so desire. Daydreaming gets us through our days!

Daydreaming was what got me through Social Studies classes through most of my education! Sadly, had ADHD and Ritalin been around back in the early 70's I would have been identified and drugged up. Actually, I was just day dreaming most of the time. I was as attentive as could be come Math or Science classes, probably because I was actively involved in those classes. Once I got the the Social Studies lecture classes, I was bored and unchallenged which left me  inattentive and, well, on "Daydream mode."

It makes me wonder how many kids are thought of, diagnosed and/or drugged for ADD/ADHD when in fact they may simply be daydreaming? Maybe their life at home is chaotic and filled with stress. School is a great, safe place to let their minds explore and daydream the ideal life they wish to have at home. Maybe school is the locus of their struggles and daydreaming is their way of escaping the pain, humiliation, bullying, learning issues or other challenges experienced at school. Does anyone ever just ask these inattentive children what they are thinking or what is going on in their minds when they are not attentive in school and why they are not attentive???

Daydreaming is safe. It brings hope to those feeling hopeless. Daydreaming sparks new ideas and creativity. Daydreaming allows one to be in control and shape their future. Daydreaming obliterates the bad guy, rescues the good guy and brings happiness to those involved. Daydreaming is a great outlet for children and people of all ages. God knows I still daydream....only it's in my weekly meetings with other adults where I am bored and unchallenged, leaving me  inattentive and, well, on "Daydream mode."  Somethings never change!!!

Dream Big!!!

Dreams have driven me to my present life and I hope continue to drive me through my future. I dreamt of true love with a caring, compassionate man. I dreamt for years of this man. There really weren’t any identifying characteristics of this man other than the way he treated me. He was kind and generous. I also dreamt he had two children and I came along to help raise them. I dreamt of the kind of neighborhood where we would all reside. Several years ago I stopped dreaming this dream.  I never thought about it again until years later when I was biking through one of the neighborhoods by where I have lived since I married my husband. I almost fell off of my bicycle when I saw the house that used to be in my dream. It hit me! I was living my dream from years ago! I had met that wonderful, caring man who actually had two children! I was determined and driven to pursue this dream and it came to life!

I also dreamt of writing books and giving motivational speeches to children of all ages. Though my dream of being an author is quickly coming to fruition, I am hoping to eventually add the presentations to coincide with my books on resiliency. “Dream big” pretty much sums up my anticipation for where I see myself in the next 10-20 years. I hope to not only have my five resiliency books in the hands of as many children as possible, but also hope to be able to present the concept of resiliency in person to these children. I also have a line of adult books that I would like write….Yep, I’m dreaming BIG!!!!!

Children should start young with their big dreams! They need vast experiences to know and understand all of the possibilities out there for them. They need to explore all sorts of areas: athletic, art, mechanical, culinary, etc. Volunteering at a young age can allow children varied experiences, as can organizations like the Boy & Girl  Scouts. What dreams do your children hold? What do they want to be when they grow up? What tools do they need to achieve this dream? What experiences can you start giving your children so they understand the sky is the limit?

Dream Sweet Dreams

My older sister and I shared a large bedroom when we were young. To say she tormented me every opportunity she could find would probably be an understatement! Before going to sleep each night we would always say to each other, “Have sweet dreams, I love you!” which inevitably would be followed with giggly sayings like, “nighty night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite!” This of course, would only be culminated with her sneaking out of  her bed, crawling over to my bed and scaring the daylights out of me! Somehow through the silliness, I still managed to have sweet dreams!

Though I don’t remember specific childhood dreams, I do remember sleeping soundly and being refreshed each morning.  My mother taught me early on that I should watch something pleasant, humorous, inspiring and/or powerful before I went to sleep. This should aid in having sweet dreams as the last thought or sight before falling asleep can have some bearing on your dreams. As a practice I opt for Comedy Central before I go to sleep. I laugh at the obnoxious shows like TOSH.O and drift into a sound sleep filled with sweet, fun dreams.

You can help your children have sweet dreams, too. By having them read fun stories before bed, they relax and can forget their hectic day. If your children share a bedroom and tend to  play around before they fall asleep, that’s ok! The fun liveliness of their play may aid in them having sweet dreams!

Dream about going to school

So your children have probably been in school for a few weeks now. How have they adjusted? Are they on a schedule? Do they have a routine? Are they enthusiastic about going to school and learning? Luckily, you, as parents, have the tools and school experiences to help your child enjoy his/her academic experiences. Children need to not only be prepared for school  academically and socially, but emotionally, as well.

Children need to hear about your positive school experiences at a young age. If there are older siblings attending school with pre-schoolers at home, they can help by sharing positive stories from their school day. Pre-schoolers should look forward to the experience, not fear it. Take your preschooler out with your older children to watch them get on the bus, so they are prepared for school transportation. take your preschooler to the elementary school to visit before or after school hours so they can visualize what the school looks like.

Pre-school is also a great way to prepare children for elementary school. Children learn routine, expectations, socialization skills and, of course, academic skills. They have a clear understanding of the role of a teacher and their role as students. They increase their attention spans so they are better prepared for half-day or full-day kindergarten. Their thoughts about attending  elementary school should be positive since they enjoy their pre-school experiences.

DREAM!

One of the factors for being resilient is having a DREAM. You have to visualize your future. Where do you want to be? How do you plan to get there? What resources do you need to get there? What obstacles are in your way and how can you overcome them?

Many years ago, at a low point in my life, I often dreamed and even daydreamed of a better life.  I would take long bike rides and walks dreaming of the good life. Mine was not traumatic or horrible, I just wasn't in a good place or a good relationship and wanted better. I mainly wanted a caring, loving husband.  I visualized myself living in a nice neighborhood with kids and this special husband. From the beginning of my dream, I never dreamed of having my own children, they were always going to be step children or foster children whom I could help. Anytime I found myself down about my present life, I drifted away in my dream. That dream got me through some tough times and rough relationships!

 A few years ago I was bike riding in my neighborhood and it hit me. I was living that dream I had years before!  I literally almost fell off my bike when I saw the home that I dreamed about  just a few blocks from my present home. I was (still am) married to the most loving, caring and giving man. He has blessed me with two step children who are now young adults. I am blessed. I am grateful. I am in a much better place because I never gave up on my DREAM!!!