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Thursday, July 28, 2011

LOVE

My parents were the icons of love with their unconditional dedication and devotion. They greeted one another with hugs and kisses whether they were coming or going. They even held hands while out in public! We never witnessed them fight or show any disdain or disrespect towards one another. In fact, it wasn't until we were adults that we learned about my father's passive-aggressive approach to my mother when he disagreed with her. 


Unlike most homes, my mother was the one who was just a little bit strict while my father was easy going and non authoritative. So, when my mother would occasionally ground my little sisters and he would disagree, no one would know. My sisters thought he was just a bit absent minded when they would ask him if they could go out at times which just happened to coincide with my mother being gone for the day. My father would allow them and coincidentally ask them to be home 10 minutes before my mother was expected home. And so this went on throughout their teen years. He loved my mother but didn't agree with some of her decisions. Instead of showing any disrespect in front of the kids or towards her, he just played dumb. Kind of genius-like! 


I longed for their compassionate kind of love and looked in all the wrong places for a real long time...20 years to be exact. Love has to be shown not just stated to be real. If someone tells you he/she loves you and then abuses you, hurts you, cheats on you, etc., well, that is just not true love. Abusive spouses/friends often will woo their significant other back into their lives by telling the person how much they love them. The actions state otherwise. Everyone deserves to truly feel loved and to have someone to love. Once you have that in your life, WOW, what a life you will have!


My husband reminds me a lot of my mother with his compassion, hugs and constant verbal reminders that he loves me. I thank God every day for such a warm, loving man in my life. It took a lot of lessons to get here, but once I got here, I embraced the relationship whole-heartedly. 


Kids need to be exposed to loving relationships. After all, kids learn what they live. We all know this. Are you role modeling a loving relationship in front of your kids? Do you deal with your disagreements behind closed doors? Do you show respect towards one another no matter what underlying stresses you are facing? What can you do to better role model unconditional love to your children?

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